Author: anne lazarakis

We’re back with another episode of What’s the Schemata, the Schema Therapy podcast for therapists with ISST-accredited schema therapy supervisors and trainers Chris Hayes and Rob Brockman.

This time, we’re joined by Graham Kell — a rare “unicorn” in the schema world, accredited in schema therapy for both adults and child/adolescent practice. With two decades of youth work behind him, plus lived experience parenting teens, Graham brings a grounded and practical perspective on how schema therapy for teenagers actually works in the room.

If you’ve ever sat across from a teenager in a hoodie, eyes down, giving you very little, this episode will feel familiar.

What This Episode Teaches About Schema Therapy for Teenagers

In this candid and practical conversation, Graham unpacks why teen silence is rarely rudeness. More often, it’s vulnerability without language. In schema therapy for teenagers, the Detached Protector can look like disengagement, but underneath it is usually a young person trying to stay safe. Rather than confronting that head-on, Graham explains how to build safety first and how giving teens vocabulary for their internal states can slowly make the silence less necessary.

He shares how he uses “side doors” into emotion through characters, memes, anime, books, music and pop culture. Instead of pushing for direct emotional disclosure, he invites teens to talk about a character first. This approach makes schema therapy for teenagers feel less exposing and more collaborative. It creates distance, lowers shame, and often opens the path to deeper work.

The conversation also explores how to begin cognitively when needed and then gently shift into experiential work. The Detached Protector may tolerate logic before it tolerates closeness, and that sequencing matters. The model remains intact, but the delivery shifts. In effective schema therapy for teenagers, schemas might become “instincts” or “predictions”, modes might become a cast of characters, and parts work becomes story work. The formulation is still there, but the language feels developmentally aligned.

Graham also speaks about the strengths-based nature of schema therapy for teenagers. Because schemas are still forming, there is a powerful opportunity to build pride in strengths early. When teens begin to see themselves as capable, the pull of unhealthy coping can weaken. It is less about removing protection and more about expanding the range of options available to them.

Parent coaching is another key theme. When safe and appropriate, working with caregivers becomes central to change. In schema therapy for teenagers, helping parents respond to the mode rather than react to the moment can significantly reduce conflict at home. Graham introduces a simple CALM framework focused on curiosity, allowing feelings, limiting chaos and modelling regulation. Even small shifts in how a parent mirrors their teen can reshape how that teen sees themselves.

The episode also addresses what happens when parents are not a resource. In those cases, schema therapy for teenagers shifts towards strengthening the adolescent’s coping capacity and autonomy. Rather than lowering the teen’s perception of the problem, the work often involves raising their confidence in their ability to manage it.

Empathic confrontation with teens is handled carefully. Validation tends to run longer before confrontation is introduced. Metaphor often does the heavy lifting, whether that’s castle walls and drawbridges or animal instincts. Across the discussion, Graham makes clear that schema therapy for teenagers is not about correcting attitude, but understanding function.

Throughout the episode, one message stands out: work with teen modes, not teen attitude. When we understand the purpose behind the behaviour, engagement becomes more possible and the work becomes more humane.

Listen to the Podcast

The full episode, Introducing Graham Kell on Schema Therapy for Teenagers, is available now on What’s the Schemata.

Listen on your preferred podcast platform and explore how schema therapy can be thoughtfully and creatively adapted for adolescents.

We’re back with another episode of What’s the Schemata, the Schema Therapy podcast for therapists with ISST-accredited schema therapy supervisors and trainers Chris Hayes and Rob Brockman.

This time, we’re joined by Graham Kell — a rare “unicorn” in the schema world, accredited in schema therapy for both adults and child/adolescent practice. Graham brings two decades of youth work experience, the lived reality of parenting teens, and a grounded, practical understanding of what actually works in the room with adolescents.

If you’ve ever sat across from a teenager in a hoodie, eyes down, giving you very little, this episode will feel familiar.

What you’ll hear in this episode

In this candid and practical conversation, Graham unpacks why teen silence is rarely rudeness. More often, it’s vulnerability without language. The Detached Protector might look like disengagement, but underneath it is usually a young person trying to stay safe. Rather than confronting that head-on, Graham explains how to build safety first and how giving teens vocabulary for their internal states can slowly make the silence less necessary.

He shares how he uses “side doors” into emotion through characters, memes, anime, books, music and pop culture. Instead of pushing for direct emotional disclosure, he invites teens to talk about a character first. It creates distance, lowers shame, and often opens the path to deeper work.

The conversation also explores how to begin cognitively when needed and then gently shift into experiential work. The Detached Protector may tolerate logic before it tolerates closeness, and that sequencing matters. The model doesn’t change, but the delivery does. Schemas might become “instincts” or “predictions”, modes might become a cast of characters, and parts work becomes story work. The formulation remains intact, but the language becomes youth-friendly.

Graham speaks about the strengths-based nature of adolescent schema therapy. Because schemas are still forming, there’s a powerful opportunity to build pride in strengths early. When teens begin to see themselves as capable, the pull of unhealthy coping can weaken. It’s less about ripping away protection and more about expanding the range of options available to them.

Parent coaching is another key theme. When safe and appropriate, working with caregivers becomes a central part of change. Graham describes helping parents respond to the mode rather than react to the moment. He introduces a simple CALM framework focused on curiosity, allowing feelings, limiting chaos and modelling regulation. Even small shifts in how a parent mirrors their teen can reshape how that teen sees themselves.

The episode also doesn’t shy away from the complexity of when parents aren’t a resource. In those cases, the focus turns to strengthening the adolescent’s coping capacity and autonomy. Rather than lowering the teen’s perception of the problem, the work often involves raising their confidence in their ability to manage it.

Empathic confrontation with teens is handled carefully. Validation tends to run longer before confrontation is introduced. Metaphor often does the heavy lifting, whether that’s castle walls and drawbridges or animal instincts. The aim is not to shame or corner the protector but to invite it to lower the drawbridge just enough.

Throughout the conversation, one theme stands out: work with teen modes, not teen attitude. When we understand the function of the behaviour, engagement becomes more possible and the work becomes more humane.

What’s the Schemata: Episode 61 with Graham Kell

The full episode, Introducing Graham Kell and Schema Therapy for Adolescents, is available now on What’s the Schemata.

Listen to the episode on your preferred podcast platform and explore how schema therapy can be thoughtfully and creatively adapted for adolescents.

In this episode of “What’s the Schemata” we chat with trainer, writer and Advanced Schema Therapist Remco van der Wijngaart (Netherlands) about how best to develop skills in Schema therapy, new developments within the model and perspectives on empathic confrontation.

Our latest episode of What’s the Schemata? is now live, and this one features Chris in a solo exploration of something that has become central to Schema Therapy practice: chair work and experiential mode work.

In the episode, Chris talks through why chair work wasn’t emphasised in the early days of Schema Therapy, how it gradually became a core part of the model, and why so many therapists find it both powerful and challenging. He reflects on his own training, the influence of Dutch researchers and practitioners, and how experiential techniques have evolved over the past twenty years.

Chris also spends time discussing those “tricky” clinical moments — the ones where chair work feels uncertain, unusual, or hard to navigate — and offers a grounded, practical sense of how he now uses it in his own sessions.

If you’re interested in strengthening your experiential confidence or understanding how chair work really fits into the broader model, this episode is a thoughtful place to start.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mVhjlt7KldflhBWfNqRnO?si=2AUpRNacT4asFWTaIzd2aw

New Episode: August 15, 2025

Episode: What’s the Schemata? — “Nuanced Imagery Rescripting: Social Isolation, Abandonment & More”
Hosts: Chris Hayes & Dr. Robert Brockman (ISST-accredited supervisors)

Schema Therapy is always developing. Techniques are refined, language becomes clearer, and therapists learn to adapt more fluidly to the unexpected. In this episode of What’s the Schemata?, Hayes and Brockman unpack some of the most challenging aspects of imagery rescripting. They explore what to do when the usual approaches don’t land, offering concrete strategies that therapists can put into practice straight away.

Why this episode matters: Episode 59: What’s the Schemata

Imagery rescripting is one of the most powerful interventions in Schema Therapy, but it is also one of the most challenging. Therapists often find themselves improvising in the moment, stepping into the client’s memory without a script. This discussion focuses on how to adapt when the scene isn’t straightforward and how to stay grounded in the core principle of meeting unmet needs.

Social Isolation: when rescuing can isolate further

Rescuing as an adult authority figure may unintentionally reinforce the client’s sense of being “different”. Instead, step into the memory as a same-age peer and bring the child into your group. Inclusion in something as simple as a playground game creates a vivid corrective experience. When appropriate, you can also draw on supportive peers from later life to strengthen the sense of belonging.

Abandonment: a slow repair

Abandonment imagery often unfolds over the long term rather than in a single breakthrough. For pre-verbal memories, the intervention is simple but powerful: pick up the baby, soothe, and stay. Avoid unrealistic repairs such as bringing a lost parent back. Focus instead on validating grief, modelling availability, and planting the seed of hope that stable connections are possible.

Insufficient Self-Control and Self-Discipline: firm but caring limits

This schema calls for limit-setting delivered with warmth. If the child in the image wants to avoid school or act impulsively, step in with a calm, clear boundary: school first, play later. When the original caregiver reinforced impulsivity, part of the repair is resetting norms and modelling accountability without shaming.

Enmeshment and Self-Sacrifice: creating safe distance

When a distressed caregiver overshares, the child can be overwhelmed. One solution is to move the child out of the conversation—invite them to play or draw in another room while you address the adult. Use empathic confrontation to acknowledge the caregiver’s stress while firmly protecting the child from inappropriate emotional burden.

Contemptuous antagonists: keeping control of the scene

Not every antagonist will back down. Some are dismissive or mocking. In these cases, maintain control. Mute them, remove them from the image, or impose boundaries within the imagined space. Aim your firm stance at the behaviour, not the person, to model healthy protection.

Newer lenses: fairness and coherence

• Basic Fairness: Correct clear injustices in the image and consider creating behavioural bridges, such as encouraging the adult client to buy themselves the symbolic item they were denied.
• Coherence of Self and Others: Children suffer when events make no sense. Offer age-appropriate explanations to restore clarity. Mode maps and formulations in therapy often land with the powerful realisation: “Now it makes sense.”

Key takeaways

• Enter imagery just before the painful moment, not after.
• Encourage first-person, present-tense engagement.
• Speak differently to adults and children: limits and confrontation for adults, warmth and protection for the child.
• Use creative but believable fantasy elements like distance, allies, or volume control.
• Balance autonomy with safety—avoid over-rescuing.

Coming soon: full-session recordings

Hayes and Brockman also preview a new filmed series of ten full one-hour schema therapy sessions, showing complete start-to-finish clinical work. Titled Inside the Room: The Schema Therapy Sessions, this project is due for release in September or October 2025.

Listen now

This episode of What’s the Schemata? is packed with clinical insights, practical tips, and honest reflections on the challenges of imagery rescripting. Whether you are new to Schema Therapy or refining advanced skills, it offers ideas you can use immediately in your practice.

Listen now to the full episode on your favourite podcast platform.